HOW TO BE A PROTECTIVE PARENT WITHOUT GOING OVERBOARD

The news of a new baby can send us dads into overdrive. Being a parent is about having a sense of responsibility and duty, but we also feel that need to be super protective over our offspring. And while being protective is all well and good, it is important not to go overboard in being a protective parent. When it comes to being protective, it is important to make sure that we do it in the right ways. So what are these right ways?

Addressing Your Version of “Threat” 

When we have a little baby that grows into a child, that grows into an adult, the concept of threats will change. And this means that we've got to understand that threats are open to interpretation. Looking at your version of threats, do you think these are things that will realistically translate to threats for your children? Because when you start to think about the idea of what a threat is, you then think about the appropriate methods of protecting yourself. But this is when we can become somewhat overzealous.

The modern world is full of threats where many parents feel that they have to get some form of firearm or weapon to protect themselves. The standard stun gun definition and definition of a firearm is not necessarily to do with protection though, but rather as a “destructive device.” When we think about what it takes to protect our children, do weapons actually factor into our definition of threats? Because there are times when weaponry can be a valuable tool, but most of the time, there is not! 

The Importance of Letting Your Children Learn to Fend for Themselves 

Most fathers are worrying about threats as soon as their child is able to move around. It's important to be protective, but it's also important to remember that we all learn by mistakes. This is why having a controlled environment, rather than a strict one, is important because it allows our children the opportunities to understand the repercussions of their actions. This, however, can mean that many parents take to wrapping their baby in a security blanket of an environment, which is not going to help them learn how to fend for themselves as they get older.

It’s crucial to allow children the opportunity to do things for themselves and by putting themselves into semi-dangerous positions they can learn how to protect themselves properly. When our children are too coddled, they can find themselves struggling later in life because of being overprotected during their formative years. This could mean that they are not able to look after themselves appropriately later in life and can have an impact on their developing relationships, and could result in their relying on you for everything when they are adults themselves. Self-sufficiency is important which is why we need to allow children to make mistakes.

Teaching Them a Number of Resilience-Based Skills 

You may look back on your childhood and tell yourself that your child is not going to experience the same things you had to go through, but this is where the overprotective side of you can come into play. It's so important for everybody to understand how best to deal with situations that come their way using a manner of resilience tools. We all need a healthy repertoire of skills, whether this is to defuse tension and conflict, to defend ourselves from threats, such as bullies, but also to learn how to reduce stress.

When we let stressful moments into our lives, if we find ourselves browbeaten by them, we start to shy away from things, and this can make us an easy target, and if you were an easy target in the schoolyard, now is the perfect time to teach your children skills so they can get by in life. It is always a good idea for your children to know how to defend themselves, which is completely different from learning how to fight. 

Defense can mean karate lessons, but it can also be using the power of words to defuse a situation. It's also important to recognize that sometimes when there is a bully, they may not have the mental capacity to understand your child is trying to defuse the situation, and this is why sometimes, the threat of having certain skills is a very important thing to have. This goes back to the age-old idea of the child that never got bothered by bullies because of some rumor flying around that they'd beaten up someone outside of school. You don't have to go this far, but the idea is that if your child has the resilience and fortitude to send a message to the bully that they are not worth bothering, this is going to help in the long run. 

 It is important to be a protective parent, but we must remember that our children need to fight their own battles, as this is the key to being protective over ourselves. Because if you become a helicopter parent, you have to be prepared for the emotional backlash that will occur later in life.